Not 30 yet

Today I'm 29. At one time or another everyone has been asked, "Where do you think you will be in 10 years?" It's always a puzzling question that gets a pretty generic answer: I'll be working, married, with kids, or I'll be traveling, opening myself up to new possibilities and adventures. But now that it's been 10 years later, those generic answers have such vivid and real qualities. When I entered the teacher workforce, I had all these ideals and perceptions about what being a teacher would be like. I would create these mind blowing lessons that would open up a world of possibilities and wonder to bright-eyed children waiting to learn from me. The reality was more like hoping every day I would send my students home with at least one new thought or understanding of a subject. I was pretty hard on myself. Always feeling like I was failing someone or that my shortfalls would damage a young person's sense of accomplishment. Looking back, I know I did my best and I hope all my students will look back at their 4th grade teacher with good feelings and respect for what I tried to do each and every day. The next step in my 10 year plan was marriage. I always thought I would marry in my late 20s early 30s, because who at 21 years old knows what they want. Except, when I met (or should I say opened my eyes) to my best friend's older brother, John, I knew we had something special. With John, I've learned to really love myself because he loved me for exactly who I was. Now I strive to be a better person for him and now my two beautiful daughters. When Lorelei and Camilla came into this world, for the first time, I felt like I had done something truly amazing. They are both so unique and special and I hope I can raise them to love themselves the way I love them. That is what a parent's job boils down to. In the end, they will make their own decisions in life, but if they can look back on their childhood for guidance, I will truly feel like I did what I was meant to do in this lifetime. I know as they grow older, I will need to find my place in this world without them or John as the focal points. I hope I find a way to achieve joy by helping others as I pursue a passion yet to be decided. I'm sure there will be many adventures to come and I can write about those after the next 10 years. When I think about myself 10 years ago when someone asked me this question, I don't think I would have believed it possible that I would have made all those generic answers come true in the most beautiful way.